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Browse all famous retirement quotes below, or select a specific topic from this list: The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. I was arrested by the grammar police for not using the full stop correctly. 161+ Funny Retirement Cake Sayings Will Make You Smile Department, thank you for all you have J. Live well and prosper. Unknown, "The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does." Source Unknown, Gods retirement plan is out of this world. 25 Incredibly Creative Police Retirement Gifts It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it." Did you hear they arrested the Energizer bunny? Explore the options below for sample police retirement quotes, sayings, best wishes and more. Why did the police officer smell so bad? 2. When a career marked by life on the beat winds to a close, mere celebration isnt enough. Did you hear about the criminal who stole a lamp? 61. retirement savings in an IRA or qualified plan such as a 401(k). Whether you're looking for retirement quotes for coworkers or for a friend, these quotes are perfect for writing in a message or card. | Questions to ask the Facility, Moving A Parent With Dementia into Assisted Living. The juicy bit of gossip everybody's been mouthing is that I'm going to retire. find on a particular financial institution, service provider or specific product's site. There s a retired person in the premises with not a lot to do and plenty of stories to tell. Retirement life begins when the kids move out and the cat gets run over. You've done your hard time and now it's time to enjoy some freedom! There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working. Retirement is wonderful. Me: I'd like to interview the bartender wearing high heels and a leopard print dress. Retirement Poems - treecards blog Funny Retirement Card For Men and Women, Retirement Cards For Him Or Her, Single Large 5.5 x 8.5 Happy Retirement Cards For Women, Large Retirement Card For Coworker - Karto - You've Worked 32 $849 FREE delivery Wed, Feb 15 on $25 of items shipped by Amazon I can't take it any more! Short police sayings the police must obey the law while enforcing the law earl warren nightmares come in many forms when you re a cop c. Taylor if we hand the relief items to police we are not sure it will reach the victims abdul razzaq the height of strategy is to attack your opponent s strategy sun tzu. So I do it three or four times a day." Find GIFs with the latest and newest hashtags! Betty White, "He who laughs last at the boss's jokes probably isn't far from retirement." All those years of working and now you can get back to acting like a child again! 500 matching entries found. Its learning to live on less than you make, so you can give money back and have money to invest. See top 10 retirement one liners. 25+ Retirement Poems to Reflect on Your Life | Cake Blog 14. I said, Scissors. I didn't grow up with professionals that retired. shop 5STARGRAPHICDESIGN. Because it was mugged. 36. Funny Police Quotes And Sayings - ShortQuotes.cc Let me tell all of you the truth, right here and now. Unknown, "My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law." When I was sixty-five I still had pimples." -George Burns This webpage contains inspirational retirement quotes and funny retirement quotes. Capitalize on what comes. 40. #7 Dear husband, you have been successful all your life. The current institutionally provided retirement plans will not cover people's needs upon retirement. which every Judge takes, outside these city walls, into the cursed Earth. Goodbye Tension - Hello Pension! Because it runs through your jeans. Unknown, "Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save." Showing search results for funny police retirement sorted by relevance. "We envy you, but are excited for you!". Tricera-cops. A personalized crystal plaque engraved with a heartwarming message to the retiring law enforcement officer will mean the world to that public servant in your life. Women go right on cooking.". Not even a rumor. quotesgram.com. I call it bliss." See more ideas about funny sayings quotes. I don't necessarily believe in physical retirement. Assisted Living Checklist: What To Ask & What To Look For, Quotes & Sayings For Retirement Cards 110 Quotes Continued, Retirement Party Ideas For Coworker | Canyon Winds, 30 Quotations About Getting Old - Desert Winds Retirement Community, Physical Games For Seniors - MeasurAbilities, LLC, 68 Retirement Wishes For A Boss - Canyon Winds Retirement, 65 Quotes About Getting Older | Funny & Inspirational Sayings, 55 Funny And Inspirational Quotes About Aging - Vista Winds Retirement, Motivational Fitness Quotes - Body Smith Fitness, 75 Funny Music Quotes - Amazing Mobile Music, 65 Getting Older Quotes | Chaparral Winds Retirement, Age is an issue of mind over matter. Retirement Quotes. Some call it 'retirement.' Poke fun at the retiree or help them to revel in the fact they're retiring and everyone else isn't with these funny sayings. Charles Francis Adams, The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender. Add some lighthearted sarcasm and entertaining tidbits by drawing on famous retirement quotes and sayings from comedic characters, Marvel heroes, favorite reality stars, and more: Bowery King: "You're not very good at retiring. Retirement Wishes for Coworker - Retirement Farewell Messages & Quotes A blond gets in her car and notices her steering wheel, dashboard, and windshield is missing. 11. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it. "It's your turn. Why is a traffic cop the strongest man in the world? We go. - Malcolm Forbes. Today is my graduation day. Unknown, Expect the best. Why did the coffee call the police? Funny retirement sayings and quotes. 23 Cop sayings and quotes - funny ideas - Pinterest Hartman Jule, "I have never liked working. Teachers: For teachers, the work is never done. #5 To the man who has been my best friend for years, my partner in crime, and the love of my life, Happy Retirement! So I do it three or four times a day." - Gene Perret "When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income" - Chi Chi Rodriguez Here it is, she said. Sandra Day O'Connor, "I wanted to have more time to play and reflect, but I find retirement more stressful than having a nice, steady job because I have to make decisions about where I want to be." A police officer arrested a bottle of water because it was wanted in three different states. Unknown, Far from idleness being the root of all evil, it is rather the only true good. What do you say when your friend wants to hear a really cool joke about the police from you? Ruby Dee, "Retirement means doing whatever I want to do. 1) Retirement is the beginning of the time when you can sit back and give advice to others, even though you never followed it in your own life. Explore 22 smart and easy ways to boost retirement savings big! Others couldn't imagine not working and will retire when they die. Take Without Forgetting. The best part about retirement is that you don t have to worry about getting caught for doing nothing. Your happy retirement wishes in a greeting card, email, or text are a pat on the back, a standing ovation, a hearty toast celebrating both the accomplishment and expectations that retirement represents.. Tailor your best wishes to the retiree as well as your level of relationship or appropriateness given your . Yo Mama so stupid she got hit by a cup and told the police she got mugged. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. Every time you borrow money, youre robbing your future self. Police Retirement Quotes Funny. QuotesGram - Pinterest The best funny retirement wishes for coworkers and colleagues include: The days of 9-5 are past! For Your Loyal and Dedicated Service We have now done so much for so long with so little, we are now capable of doing anything with nothing. The time now has come; the time is in your own hands. Author Unknown, To find joy in work is to discover the fountain of youth. Pearl S. Buck, Dont think of retiring from the world until the world will be sorry that you retire. Doris Day, How old would you be if you didnt know how old you was? Absolutely hillarious retirement one liners. If you give one of these to a colleague, friend, or family member that is looking forward to retirement, it will surely help you communicate your appreciation. Here are some humorous options. I tell them, a paternity suit. 15 Funny Retirement Poems For A New Retiree A word of warning. Leadership peace war world. 10. I win! and drove off. Congratulations! 3. Two rounds a day are plenty. Sort: Relevant Newest # love # happy # work # job # greetings . 25 Retirement Quotes to Begin the Next Phase of Your Life 35. Present This to You as a Symbol of Take us with you! You cant win until you do this. William A. These words may help. With Great Honor and Recognition The police are trying to say I assaulted a guy with a sheet of sandpaper. Women go right on cooking." The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. And who knows? Funny retirement cake sayings are always a big hit (though not always appropriate for a workplace event). We will dearly miss you, your humor, and your jokes. The largest collection of retirement one line jokes in the world. I'm pretty jealous of you, but needless to say, I'm happy for your retirement. Gilbert K. Chesterton, Men and women approaching retirement age should be recycled for public service work, and their companies should foot the bill. Think of all the lives you've helped in your career. Check out our funny police quotes selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our prints shops. May you enjoy your retirement! After retirement, a 30 minute walk is the best thing to do for your ailments! "The 50 Funniest Quotes about Retirement, via, https://www.curatedquotes.com/funny-retirement-quotes/. What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? Before he knows it, the bridge is right in front of him and his truck gets wedged under it. My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman for Halloween, told me that I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed. Margaret Mead, A man is known by the company that keeps him on after retirement age. Unknown, "Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, 'Hi, Honey, I'm homeforever.'" Jelly, powdered, glazed, and chocolate frosted. Think about retirement as being two six month holidays per year. Obviously . Finally a police car comes up. Larry Laser, "Working people have a lot of bad habits, but the worst of these is work." "Congrats on being so tired that you had to retire.". George Burns, People ask me what Id most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. 6. happy days are here at last! Jeanne Moreau, Its paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesnt appeal to anyone. An officer stops a man for speeding and notices hes not wearing his required prescription glasses. Zig Ziglar, Time is more valuable than money. Well done on Crossing the Bridge you now can just sit and relax. NewRetirement Planner and PlannerPlus are tools that Scott Elledge, Retired is being twice tired, Ive thought first tired of working, then tired of not. William Shakespeare, Age to me means nothing. An officer pulls over a man for speeding. the People of the City of New York. Check out our police quotes selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our prints shops. Robert Benchley, If people concentrated on the really important things in life, thered be a shortage of fishing poles. "Best wishes for an awesome retirement. Alan Lakein, 7 ways to bring your future into the present, Preparation for old age should begin not later than ones teens. Danny McGoorty"My retirement plan is to get thrown into a minimum security prison in Hawaii." It is a chance to redesign your life into something new and different. The goal of retirement is to live off your assets, not on them. Charles Lamb. Everywhere I touch it hurts.". All sorted from the best by our visitors. To me, a job is an invasion of privacy. Unknown, He who laughs last at the bosss jokes probably isnt far from retirement. Unknown, There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working. Robert Half, Retirement: its nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese. Gene Perret, You cant retire from being great. Unknown, Some of the best memories are made in flip flops. Kellie Elmore, We make a living by what we get. Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe, Cessation of work is not accompanied by cessation of expenses. Retirement is a time to reflect and enjoy your golden years. in all your future endeavors! "Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. "Retirement is wonderful. Before you die, give. It is what we do." -Police Officer Andrew Laurinec. Before you invest, investigate. Unknown, "The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender." Dianne Nahirny, "A lot of our friends complain about their retirement. Say farewell to the retiring police warrior who sacrifice family time and safety in the name of duty with the heartfelt happy retirement wishes and tell them they will always be part of the family. Betty Sullivan, "Retirement is not the end of the road. professionalism has set the tone 31 of the Best Retirement Jokes | ThinkAdvisor Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, "Hi, Honey, I"m home - forever." - Gene Perret " You know it's time to retire when the guys ask you if you're "getting any," you think it means sleep. to date. "I'm the police, and I'm here to arrest you. Why couldnt police notify the family of the murdered baker? Fred Rogers, Work is the curse of the drinking classes. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. 60. Who works in tandem with the grammar police? Take Us With You! Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over?, Me: You were bored and wanted some company?. Retirement GIFs - Find & Share on GIPHY Personalized "Retired" Travel Tumbler Check Latest Price The public are the police and the police are the public, and both share the same responsibility for community safety. To me a job is an invasion of privacy." Police Retirement Quotes and Plaque Wording Ideas #653-1 "Thin Blue Line" Police Retirement Plaque Wording Idea Honoring Your Service Presented to Retired Sergeant In appreciation for over 31 years of loyal and dedicated service to the People of the City of New York. Plan the celebration with a personalized retirement plaque. 87 Best Retirement Quotes: Including Funny, Short and Inspirational 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. What kind of dinosaur works for the police? West, You can never have the comeback if you dont have the retirement. Chael Sonnen, I see retirement as just another of these reinventions, another chance to do new things and be a new version of myself. Walt Mossberg, Golf is played by 20 million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun. Jim Bishop, A lot of friends complain about their retirement. What's five times five?" "Twenty five," says Martin. He approaches her and asks, Are you OK? The woman replies, Yes, but how do I get to the hospital? The officer says, Just keep standing there.. They suspected it of fowl play, Do you know why diarrhea is hereditary? What do you call a female police officer playing guitar? Enjoy.". Act like the inner young person you have always been." POLICE OFFICER WIFE, Personalized, Prayer. You grow old when you stop laughing. George Bernard Shaw, To me, retirement means doing what you have fun doing. Dick Van Dyke, Retirement is wonderful if you have two essentials: much to live on and much to live for. Unknown, Retirement: thats when you return home from work one day and say, Hi honey, Im home forever. Gene Perret, Retirement is not the end of the road. We Wish You All the Best in Your Retirement! They said he was a real pro for a first offender. 27. Retirement is like coming home one day and telling your wife honey i m home for good. - Unknown We, the willing, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. Police are usually shocked that I have a record. Sylvester Stallone - Judge Dredd. Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs. You're no longer cuffed to a job. Brainyquote has been providing inspirational quotes since 2001 to our worldwide community. 1. I saw a fruit running from the police recently. Unknown Army food: the spoils of war Unknown Friendly fire - isn't. Unknown Funny Police Retirement Quotes, Quotations & Sayings 2023 39. 12. Funny retirement quotes for your boss. How Much Do I Need?, Net Worth? What do police officers do when they are on the volleyball court? 22 Inspirational Police Quotes To Share With Your Officer However, the following funny retirement quotes for coworkers will help to make the retiring person smile by . Funny Retirement Quotes To Weave Into Humorous Retirement Speeches An officer comes across a man who is clearly under the influence. Inspirational Retirement Quotes Men do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit playing. I wish I can also retire right now so that I don't need to call anyone boss. and may you find joy and peace A cop caught a graffiti artist spraying a police station in a thick font. Ifyou feel like theres something out there that youre supposed to be doing, it you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it. Before you pray, forgive. retirement 627 GIFs. Ella Harris Before deciding to retire early. Police Retirement Quotes and Plaque Wording Ideas The word "retirement" strikes a chord with all human beings. - Gail Sheehy. Enjoy your new chapter in life, where you become your own boss. Show your appreciation with unique quotes or personalized logos. 47. Its learning to live on less than you make, so you can give money back and have money to invest. Unknown, "I will not retire while I've still got my legs and my make-up box." Share this quote on Facebook Send via Mail . Act like the inner young person you have always been. J.A. 6. On what show do police officers solve crimes committed by garden gnomes? . What are the four food groups for cops? The guy touches his elbow and winces in . The job you waited for for 50 years! J. Lubbock, You have to put off being young until you can retire. Susan Cain, It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man. Retirement Wishes Continued: Think about it, now you never have to ask for a day off again. Financial planning tools and services to put you on the path to the future you want, Blog 80 Retirement Quotes - Inspirational and Funny Retirement Sayings Last updated: February 17, 2023 Retirement quotes are a fantastic way of making the retiree in your life feel recognized and appreciated. Anonymous A personal congratulations and appreciation message to honor the police officer on his or her retirement and let them know that they will be truly missed for years to come. Catherine Pulsifer, "Retirement: No job, no stress, no pay!" When I was sixty-five I still had pimples." "Here's to a well-deserved and happy retirement! We wonder if he knows what he is leaving behind, because we already know. "Enjoy being the master of absolutely nothing.". "May all the years ahead bring you great joy and relaxation.". . 15. Police say they have nothing to go on. George Burns, Age is an issue of mind over matter. We wish you the best retirement possible. Police Quotes - Etsy So here are some more great ideas for the boys (and girls) in blue! 51. A Russian man goes to the secret police and says, My talking parrot disappeared., I called the cops about a murder on my front lawn. 11. Soni, It is better to live rich than to die rich. Samuel Johnson, If people concentrated on the really important things in life, thered be no shortage of fishing poles. Doug Larson, As for me, except for the occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did. Robert Benchley, The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. Abe Lemons, You have to put off being young until you can retire. Unknown, There is a whole new kind of life ahead, full of experiences just waiting to happen. So if youre looking for inspiration, youve hit the mother lode. Funny Retirement Messages for Police Officers You've served and done your hard time, now you can enjoy freedom! The Beatles are well-known enough to be a great choice for a retirement party. Funny Retirement Quotes - Funny Quotes about Retirement to Make the Retiree Smiles. Unknown, If all the year were playing holidays, to sport would be as tedious as to work. Ward, Always have a plan, and belive in it. 50 Retirement Quotes: Inspirational and Funny Retirement Sayings Police officers deal with serious situations on a daily but that doesnt mean they dont appreciate a good joke. Why did the NYPD show up at the Mets game? 32. The information presented is based on objective analysis, but it may not be the same that you Clarence Darrow, "I'm not just retiring from the company; I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron." Funny police retirement quotes sayings. You've got a new assignment officer - enjoying your retirement! 80 Funny Police Jokes and Puns! Peter Lynch. Judge: I thought I said that I never wanted to see you in here again., Criminal: Thats what I kept telling the arresting officer, but he wouldnt listen.. You cant win until you do this. Here's a nice variety of rhyming retirement poems that you may share with someone that is about to retire or has recently retired. John Barrymore, You know youre getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while youre down there. 120 Inspirational Retirement Quotes And Messages - Events Greetings Their names are Bed and Couch. Before you retire, save. We all hope you enjoy your retirement. Jerry Seinfeld, "Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. The only real security that a man will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability. Below you will find our collection of inspirational wise and humorous old funny retirement quotes funny retirement sayings and funny retirement proverbs collected over the years from a variety of sources. Please dont go now. 39 Retirement Quotes for Police Officers - Someone Sent You A Greeting I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as youre working, you stay young. Retirement Plaque Wording Examples | DIY Awards My dogs dont even own bikes. The ground is part of nature. I am not. Retirement gives you the time literally to recreate yourself through a sport, game or hobby that you always wanted to try or that you havent done in years. 56. All the best! Funny Retirement Speeches - Funny Jokes They apply financial concepts in a general manner and include So increasingly will be peace. Andy Rooney, I think that retirement is the first step towards the grave. A Lifelong Friendship. Unknown, "Retirement: World's longest coffee break." Discover and share Police Retirement Quotes Funny. Connect with peers and experts, About He says to the man, Were going to have to give you a drug test. Without hesitation, the man replies, Cool, which drugs are we testing?, 8. Retirement Party. Beautiful Retirement Poems Each poet examines the fundamental opposites of bliss and poison. There is a whole new kind of life ahead, full of experiences just waiting to happen. I hope you like the new precinct you've been transferred to - the couch! 80+ Funny Retirement Messages, Wishes and Quotes You've broken the law. Funny retirement quotes and sayings. Law enforcement officer retirement quotes are always inspiring, our samples are uplifting and warm but you can customize your gift plaque with any quote you choose. Quote #20. Source Unknown, Do it yourself retirement planning: easy, comprehensive, reliable. 21. Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? We tell em to get a life. Vince Lombardi, In retirement, every day is Boss Day and every day is Employee Appreciation Day. Unknown, Working people have a lot of bad habits, but the worst of those is work. Clarence Darrow, Money is something you got to make in case you dont die. Max Asnas, I dont feel old. to utter words, but to live by them. How Much Does Assisted Living Cost In Sedona Arizona? Henry Moore, Musicians dont retire; they stop when theres no more music in them. 50. 2010-2023Sedona Winds Retirement CommunityAll Rights Reserved. 10. Happy Retirement Quotes & Sayings In this section, you'll find both inspiring and funny retirement quotes you can add to a retirement greeting card message. Voltaire, The question isnt at what age I want to retire, its at what income. You Never Swerved From the Path of Duty. Disclaimer: The content, calculators, and tools on NewRetirement.com are for informational and educational purposes We make a life by what we give. Winston Churchill, What do you call a person who is happy on Monday? Retirement's the most wonderful thing. Before you criticize, wait. Retirement: When you quit working just before your heart does. "John Wick: "I'm workin' on it." - John Wick: Chapter 2. Robert Delamontague, "Retirement is the only time in your life when time no longer equals money." Unknown, "Retirement: When you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house." Funny Retirement One Liners Archives - Senior Living Services I hate a fellow whom pride or cowardice or laziness drive into a corner, and who does nothing when he is there but sit and growl. Tips On How To Save For Retirement Without A 401k, Best Places To Retire In Arizona 2020 | Retirement Communities, Memory Care Checklist: What To Ask & Look For, What is Memory Care? 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